I have just begun the adventure of a study accompaniment to the book "Captivating", by John & Stasi Eldredge. I invite all women to consider delving into the pages of this "work of heart" with me.
A quote from the book was particularly resounding with me this morning:
"Most of us feel that we are failing in some areas of our lives, maybe even the most important areas. And aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more....the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, don't they - granted only to those women who get their act together. The message to the rest of us - whether from a driven culture or a driven church - is try harder."
This is like the theme song of my whole entire life. Truly. From the time i was a very small girl, I realized in some part of me that I was not enough. And my whole existence has been a never ceasing journey to try harder, be more and maybe, someday, i will finally have someone say to me "wow!" and really feel that I am wonderful enough to want and admire and place value in what I have to say or feel. Instead, it has always been someone else that I have watched and applauded and wished I could be more like them. Quieter, meeker, prettier, thinner/fitter, more successful, more popular. I have never been the girl anyone looked at and said "wow! i want to be more like HER!". Actually, my perception is that i have been a model of fear for many to look at and figure they'd better do something fast so that they never become like me.
As women, the desire that we have in our hearts is to be cherished, "irreplaceable and utterly beautiful". That desire is part of our being made in the image of God. We often think only of God in "male" type of terms. However, both male and female were created in His image. I've wondered what that truly means. And this book addresses that. A woman's heart is a reflection of the image of God. And the desire we have is God-given. If we seek to fill that desire by "trying harder" then the hole in our hearts will never be filled. God never meant for it to be that way. And if that is the truth, then it is a "light bulb" moment for me to embrace that and set this burden down that i have carried for a lifetime.
If i truly believe this, then I am free. I am free to be all that God created me to be, realizing that He already cherishes me and I am irreplaceable to Him and He already sees me as utterly beautiful and wants to have a relationship with me as if I am the only person on earth. And He wants that for every single one of us!
It's going to take me awhile to grasp this. I'm not sure that I really even can. But I want to. Because always striving for a goal that can never be reached makes me feel hopeless!
I pray that you discover who you are, in God's image, as well :) For then you will be Doubley Blessed too!
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